The Little LEPrecon
by FieldOfPaperFlowers
Summary: Artemis and Holly are mindwiped because they are too close, but when Holly recovers her memory, she will do anything to get him back. AF universe and characters, Little Mermaid plot, sort of. Thanks to Wonder for the new title. A/H
1. Prologueish

Disclaimer: I own nothing. "Nothing" includes but is not limited to Disney, Eoin Colfer, _Artemis Fowl_, and _The Little Mermaid_

A/N: This is more of a prologue-ish sort of thing. Just to clear some things up before I start posting. I would hate to get reviews that say "omgsh lyk wtc r u doin?!!11! ths maeks no sens 2 me!!1!1!" =]

AFHSAFHSAFHSAFHS

It has been approximately one year since Artemis Fowl and Holly Short went back in time to retrieve Jayjay the silky sifaka lemur to save Angeline Fowl.

In that one year, much has changed. The Council in Haven held a conference and decided that Artemis and Holly's friendship was growing a little too close for comfort, (though luckily for all involved the two kept the kiss to themselves), so they mind wiped Holly and Artemis. Butler was left alone, though sworn to secrecy. Everyone else involved in the Fowl adventures has been sworn to secrecy. Holly was forbidden from seeing Opal Koboi for fear of memory recovery. No1 used his magic to change their eye colors back to their original state. (How can you forget someone if you look at their eye in the mirror every day?)

Artemis has been having dreams of an oddly familiar girl, but whenever he mentions it to Butler, the big man tries to convince him to let it go. Dreams are just dreams, yes?

Opal Koboi was let out of her cell for good behavior, and although the police keep tabs on her, she is basically on her own.

Commander Root is alive and well. Why? Because the authoress said so, that's why. Don't question the authoress.

Foaly has developed a system of "shots" that have not replaced flares and pods but have helped get fairies to the surface more quickly than flares would. They are well-hidden machines similar to Mud Man elevators. The fairy walks inside, and after it pressurizes to prevent brain implosions, the shot _shoots_ (funny how that works) them up to a hidden "docking area" aboveground.

AFHSAFHSAFHSAFHS

A/N: I hope that helped clear things up a tiny bit. It will make more sense once I've posted the actual first chapter. I hope. ^^ For more simplicity of comprehension, here is a basic character-to-character casting list:

**Ariel:** Holly Short

**Eric:** Artemis Fowl II

**Sebastian:** Foaly

**Flounder:** No1

**Ursula:** Opal Koboi

**Triton:** Commander Root

**Grimm:** Butler

**Flotsam **& **Jetsam:** Mervall & Descant Brill

**Scuttle: **Mulch Diggums

**The seahorse guy**: Wing Commander Vinyáya

I hope that helped. I hope to post the first chapter soon. =]


	2. Chapter 1: Part of Your World

A/N: I'm alive! Some thankees to hand out before we get going:

~ Holly Marie Fowl ~ her awesomesauce AF/PJ crossover got me back to the AF fandom.

~ Wonder ~ for guilt-tripping me into promising to work on my AF fanfics during summer break. And for the new title! ("Insert Intriguing Crossover Title Here" just doesn't flow, does it?)

~ Eoin Colfer ~ for finally writing the 7th AF book! :D He makes me oh so very happy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Eoin Colfer (do stalk, don't own), _Artemis Fowl_, Artemis Fowl characters, the Artemis Fowl setting, Walt Disney, _The Little Mermaid_, or The Little Mermaid plot. *pouts*

**Police Plaza Headquarters**

Haven's finest - the Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance squad. One could generally find them out on a mission or going to or from an intense workout session. On this particular day, though, all the LEPrecons had gathered in Police Plaza headquarters for a ceremony.

The auditorium was filled with all the Lower Elements Police officers, and civilians took the extra seats. Wing Commander Vinyáya stepped up to the microphone onstage, tapping it and wincing at the interference she caused.

"Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you for coming to the LEP's annual awards ceremony. Please give it up for PR's pet project, Commander Julius Root."

A cacophony of applause erupted form the seats as the commander stepped out from backstage, his face red as usual, and with a nod to his fan base made his way to a special balcony seat he always reserved for himself.

"And for our leading technician, Foaly," Vinyáya said after the noise had died down.

Applause exploded again as Foaly the centaur emerged as well, waving and smiling. He eventually followed Root up to the balcony.

Below, Vinyáya began the introductory speech. Root basically tuned this out, instead turning to speak with Foaly.

"This ceremony is going to be something, eh, pony boy?" the commander asked, his tone semi-friendly for once. "My officers – some of them, anyway – have earned their awards. Especially Captain Short," he added, a hint of fatherly pride in his voice.

Foaly nodded pleasantly. "You bet, Julius," he agreed. "Your officers are the best, and Holly is the best of the best." _Or at least, Holly __**would**__ be the best, if she weren't running off the surface all the time_, thought Foaly dourly.

"Don't call me Julius, civilian," Root said, turning to pay attention to the ceremony again.

"…Thank you, Trouble," said Vinyáya from below. "And for our second award . . . this officer is the most decorated in Reconnaissance. She has proved herself time and time again . . . for this year's service, she has earned the purple acorn. Please give it up for . . . Captain Holly Short!"

What was probably the loudest clamor of applause yet erupted from the audience. After a minute or two, Vinyáya spoke again, with a note of confusion in her voice.

"Captain Holly Short?"

The aisles were empty. The captain wasn't there. A vein pulsed in Commander Root's temple as he stood and walked down to the stage to accept the award of Holly's behalf. Strong words were to be had.

**On the Surface, Near the Coast of Ireland**

Holly was at that moment not even in Haven. She was aboveground with N°1 (who had all but attached himself to her for her safety after two time tunnels). She had been sent on a brief mission early in the morning, but she was taking a pleasant trip over the ocean before returning to Police Plaza.

The sun was sparkling over the rolling waves as she took a deep breath of fresh air. One couldn't duplicate the salty sea breeze, even with the technology available to the People. She spread her arms wide, enjoying herself immensely. N°1, who was attached to her moon belt, was skimming his fingers across the water as they flew.

Holly slowed her flight speed slightly so she could reach into her pocket and withdraw a small mechanical device. She had found it in a human junkyard during her mission. "Look at this, N°1," she mused, turning it over in her palm. "It looks so…unremarkable, but fascinating. What do you think it is?"

N°1 glanced around nervously. "I, uh, don't know."

"I bet Mulch will." Holly pocketed the device. "What're you looking for?"

"Sharks," N°1 shivered. "We're in a danger area, you know."

"You memorized the human maps?" Holly asked incredulously.

N°1 shook his head, eyes wide. "No, I remember from last time."

"We've never been attacked by sharks!"

"Well, no, but we've seen them here before."

Holly breathed out patiently through her nose. "Don't be scared. We're fine."

N°1 exhaled. "Okay. This is fun….excitement…adventure….danger lurking under every wave…"

"We're perfectly safe!"

The a very unsafe-looking shark jumped out of the water to snap at them.

"D'Arvit!" Three guesses which of the two that was.

"Shark! Shark! We're gonna die!"

The shark swam into deeper water, and they didn't see it for a few seconds…Until there was a splashing noise behind them, and N°1 squeaked in terror as she saw the shark open its mouth to swallow him whole. Holly lashed out with a foot, connecting her booted heel with the edge of the gaping moth. The shark fell behind, but a smaller splash sounded as well. Holly checked her pocket in alarm to make sure her prize was there.

It wasn't.

"We have to go back!" Holly shouted, pulling up short.

"No we don't, no we don't!"

N°1's protests fell on deaf ears, though. Holly had already turned around and was peering anxiously into the water as she flew above it.

"I see it," she said eventually.

"Okay, grab it and we'll g—_bllrrggbb_!" N°1 was cut off mid-word when the elf dived unexpectedly into the ocean. After fifteen lung-bursting seconds, Holly grabbed the device, and they broke the surface.

"Holly," N°1 cried shrilly, pointing a shaking, wet finger at the shark following them.

Keeping a firm hold on the technology with one hand, Holly used the other to unholster her Neutrino and send a few low-setting shots towards the marine animal. It decided to leave them alone after that.

Once they had donned the cam foil, the two of them flew full-speed towards **(insert town here**). The infamous dwarf Mulch Diggums owned an apartment there, under an alias.

Holly alighted in a neighboring alley. She unhooked N°1 from her moon belt and pulled a Mud Man baseball cap and coat on to hide her ears and adult proportions.

"Stay under the cam foil," she whispered to N°1. "I'm going to see if he's home."

Holly left the alley and turned a corner to the door of the apartment building. A doorman stood there. In her best child imitation, Holly approached him. "Hey mister," she asked in a cutesy voice, "is Mitch Digs home?"

The doorman fell for the ruse. "Sure is, honey," he said kindly. "Come on in." Holly gestured slightly for N°1 to follow her as she progressed into the building.

**Mulch's Apartment**

"How are you, Mulch?" Holly asked.

Mulch closed the door and looked up momentarily from a five-layer sandwich. "Hold onto that thought." He opened his mouth and devoured the food in one gigantic bite. With a pleased burp, he returned his attention to Holly. "I'm good."

N°1, having removed his cam foil upon entering the room, nudged Holly. "We found another human thing. In a junkyard."

Holly held out the device. "We don't know what it does."

Mulch took it and began pressing buttons randomly. "This is a very special human toy," he said importantly. "It's a sort of music player. It's called a dinglehopper."

"But what about the extra stuff on the sides?" Holly asked, pointing.

Mulch inspected the "stuff" in question. "Settings," he declared. "You found this in a junkyard? I don't know why someone would dump it. Whoever made it deserves an award."

Holly shrugged. "It didn't look special. My luck, I guess." Then Mulch's words sank in. "_Award_?" she moaned, hitting herself on the forehead with the heel of her hand.

N°1's eyes widened. "The ceremony was today?"

Holly grabbed the "dinglehopper" and shoved it into her pocket. "D'Arvit, Commander Root is going to kill me! We have to go, N°1. Thank you, Mulch!"

N°1 barely had time to grab the cam foil before Holly grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out a side door to a balcony. From there, she hooked him back onto the moon belt and propelled them into the air.

Although they were shielding too quickly for the human eye to see them, cameras could catch them. And at that moment, two cameras were. More specifically, two Koboi versions of iris cams, currently in use by Mervall and Descant Brill. They were sending live feed of the LEP captain to the pixie genius herself.

Opal Koboi watched Holly and N°1 fly onscreen. "Yes, fly, Miss Short," Opal mocked sourly. "We wouldn't want to miss the LEP's awards ceremony. _Awards ceremony_, oh please. When I was in business, _I_ knew how to do things. Gorgeous parties with fantastic feasts and everyone who mattered. Then that idiot Root had to take me off the market. Now look at me. I've wasted away to practically nothing. Banished and exiled and practically starving." She patted her slender figure mournfully, popped a truffle into her mouth, and returned her gaze to the screen.

A thought occurred to her as she watched the elf fly. "Mervall! Descant!" she cried through their earphones. The pixie brothers raised their heads abruptly at the address; Descant hit his head on the low ceiling of their hiding place.

"Yes, Miss Koboi, O Intellectual Sun of the Universe?" Mervall ventured.

A devilish smile began to creep across Opal's face. "Keep an extra-close eye on Captain Short," she ordered slowly. "She may be the key to Commander Root's undoing, and to her own as well."

All the mechanical interference under the earth couldn't disguise the dangerous tone of her voice. The Brill brothers grinned at each other. They didn't envy either of the elves.

**Later, Back in Haven**

N°1 was hiding behind a wall as a red-faced Root yelled at Holly. He pitied her, but the commander scared him.

"We've known about the ceremony for months! _You've_ known about the ceremony for months! You knew it comes around every year! And you knew you had to be there!"

N°1 risked a peek. Holly was standing with her hands clasped behind her back and her face irate. She kept repeating, "Yes sir," but each time she did so her expression darkened. Foaly was talking to a sprite on Root's right, but he was obviously listening in. N°1 gathered his courage and ran out to her defense.

"It wasn't her fault! We just lost track of time! Because, see, she went out on her mission, and I had to go with her. Well, you knew that already. But, anyways, she went on her mission, and then it wasn't quite time for the ceremony yet, so we were flying, and a shark attacked us! But then we were safe, and we went to visit Mulch—" N°1 stopped too late. Root was furious.

"You lingered up there again?" Root roared. "How many times do I have to tell you!"

"But, Commander—!" Holly broke in.

"No buts! You are going to endanger yourself and the People, all because you won't listen to me!"

"I'm eighty years old! I'm not a child!"

"As long as you work in _my_ unit, you have to obey _my_ rules!"

"But if you would just listen-!"

"Not another word!" Root bellowed. "I _never_ want to hear of your visiting the surface for pleasure again! _Is that clear_?"

Holly gritted her teeth. "Yes _sir_," she said, seething. Then she turned and stalked out of the room. N°1 ran after her.

Root exhaled loudly, dropping wearily into his chair. Foaly trotted over, munching a carrot. "I don't want to hear your opinion," the commander warned his friend.

Foaly shook his head, knowing the true reason behind Root's reaction. "Nope, Julius. If Holly regained her memories, things would be much worse than they are. She's mad now, but at least we don't have to worry about her and Fowl. I have to agree with you. Actually, what she needs is a supervisor. Someone has to make sure she stays firmly planted in Haven."

Root looked at Foaly as if in a new light. "Don't call me Julius, centaur. But you're right."

"Well, what can I sa—"

"And you are perfect for the job," Root continued. "That is your new assignment. Keep tabs on Captain Short, and report anything unusual back to me." By _unusual_, he was referring to anything that could cause her to regain her memories.

Foaly looked as though he had just had his carrot stolen. "But I-"

Root nodded. "Yes. Go on now, pony boy, go do your new job." His face was beginning to darken a shade, so Foaly went.

"From a lab tech to a babysitter," he sighed. "I am _so_ unappreciated." Mumbling unhappily, he shoved open the double doors and trudged out the way Holly had gone. He had lost sight of her, so he started walking towards her house. "How do I get myself into these situations? I should be designing amazing equipment or working on my computers, not chasing after some headstrong Recon officer." His friendship with Holly aside, he really did have better things to do.

Then Foaly caught sight of Holly and N°1 sneaking suspiciously into Holly's backyard. His curiosity piqued, he followed them into a large shed. They slipped inside - Foaly barely managed to get in before the door closed. Even so, his tail was caught. He pulled on it anxiously, eventually managing to free it and then stumbling further inside. He looked around and drew in a sharp breath.

There were cabinets, chests, shelves - all overflowing with Mud Man paraphernalia. Holly herself was lounging over an armchair, studying her latest acquirement.

"Maybe he's right," she said to N°1. "Maybe there is something wrong with me. I just don't see things his way. I just have this feeling that not all humans are horrible."

Both Foaly and N°1 shifted uncomfortably at that. The _feeling_ of Holly's would actually be her subconscious remembering her friendships with Artemis Fowl and Domovoi and Juliet Butler. Artemis had been mind wiped as well, so he couldn't remember her. The Butlers, along with everyone else who had been part of the adventures with Fowl, had been sworn to secrecy so as not to trigger any memories.

_Look at this stuff_  
_Isn't it neat?_  
_Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?_  
_Wouldn't you think I'm the girl_  
_The girl who has everything?_

Holly stepped gingerly onto a moving ladder, pushing off from the wall so she slid along the perimeter of the room. N°1 watched her, pity in his eyes.

_Look at this trove, Treasures untold_  
_How many wonders can one cavern hold?_  
_Looking around here you think, 'Sure, she's got everything'_  
_I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty_  
_I've got whozits and whatzits galore_  
_You want thingamabobs? I've got twenty!_

Holly jumped nimbly off the ladder, landing beside a chest. She withdrew several boxes full of human items and showed N°1 their contents.

_But who cares? No big deal. I want more…_

_I wanna be where the people are_  
_I wanna see, wanna see them dancin'_  
_Walking around on human-size feet_

She took him by the hand and twirled him once in a wistful imitation of Mud Man dancing.

_Three feet tall, you don't get too far_  
_Height is required for reaching, dancing_  
_Strolling along without hats down a street_

She tried to get a human camera off a top shelf but was too short and had to use a stool.

_Up where they walk, up where they run_  
_Up where they stay all day in the sun_  
_Wanderin' free - wish I could be_  
_Part of that world_

She pulled a globe out of a box and spun it on its axis, trailing her fingers over the surface.

_What would I give if I could live up on top of the earth?_  
_What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand?_

_I'm sure on land they understand_  
_That they don't reprimand their officers_  
_'Cause they're women, and are eminent,_  
_Ready to stand_

She put that away and glanced out the window at the artificial sun. She sighed, wishfulness colliding with reality.

_And ready to live how the people live_  
_But help out pollution and save some animals_  
_Conserve energy and energy - burn?_

_When's it my turn?_  
_Wouldn't I love, love to explore that world up above?_  
_Out of the ground_  
_Wish I were bound_  
_To be part of your world_

The music faded, and all in the shed was quiet. Until Foaly tripped over a fallen soccer ball and came crashing to the floor in front of them.

"Foaly?" Holly and N°1 cried simultaneously. The centaur had a frustrated look on his face.

"Holly," he huffed, shaking off human items that had caught on him, "if your commander knew about this place—"

Holly dropped to his eye level in worry. "You're not going to tell him, are you?" It could mean the end of her career in Recon.

Foaly looked at her sternly. "I won't," he said finally. "But we are getting out of here. If anyone passed by and saw us . . ." He let it hang in the air, instead slipping out the door. Holly and N°1 followed him out.

The nearby shot rumbled faintly; Foaly ignored it, but Holly's eyes shone. She had lived beside it long enough to know that that noise meant a human ship was leaving the harbor aboveground. She ran towards the shot, hoping to make it before the ship went too far out to sea.

"Holly!" Foaly cried. He and N°1 ran after the elf, barely managing to jump inside the shot before the doors closed. The pressurized shot flew up hundreds of feet in seconds, slowing to a stop none too soon. The ship was barely off the dock.

"Come back!" The centaur's voice was faint behind her. Holly barely noticed the faint coolness of the water as she dived in to follow the ship. Shaking off droplets, she climbed up some rungs on the side to a hole in the side. From there she watched the humans intently.

Crewmates and guests alike danced to an orchestral serenade. Two little boys were running between people - sometimes playing, sometimes dancing (sort of), always laughing.

The younger of the children, a blonde, was distracted from this game. Slowly he crouched and on his knees crawled towards the edge. Holly gasped and threw herself to the walled side so as not to be seen. After perhaps thirty seconds, she turned to see if he had gone: she found herself staring into big blue eyes. The little boy gave her a childish kiss on the cheek.

"Beckett!" called someone from aboard the ship.

The child grinned at Holly and left her to answer the call. Touching her cheek pleased, she saw him run over to a tall, slender boy in his older teen years with thick black hair and blue eyes.

The older boy staggered slightly when the younger ran and forcefully hugged him around the legs. "Calm down, Beckett. I'm no one new."

Holly's eyes lost focus when she took in this older boy. The blue eyes, the black hair, the _voice - _she was no longer seeing the present, but rather the past - roughly six years of the past spent in the company of one Artemis Fowl II, who was undoubtedly the teenage boy in front of her. Memories flashed before her eyes. Her past affection for the boy was renewed, as much by remembrance as by newness. Her head dropped into her cupped hands as she watched Artemis play with his younger brother.

"Excuse me? Can I have everyone's attention, please?" said a low, familiar voice. Butler. Holly almost laughed at that. He was seven feet tall and standing in the center of the deck. How could he _not_ have everyone's attention?

Butler coughed. "Thank you. Well, we are gathered here to celebrate Artemis's nineteenth birthday. I want to present his first gift." He motioned; a crewman exaggeratedly whipped the cloth off the gift. It was a very, very large book – an unabridged dictionary, the spine read.

Artemis looked pleased with the gift, though most of the people on board appeared put off by its size. "Thank you, old friend. It's definitely unique."

Butler eyed his charge. "We had hoped, your parents and I, that it would be a _wedding_ present."

Artemis avoided his gaze, instead staring off into the distance. "Please, old friend, let's not argue over this again. Surely you aren't still upset because I didn't take a liking to Miss Paradizo?"

Butler glared at the gathering clouds in the sky, then returned his eye to the boy. "Artemis, this isn't just me. The entire country wants to see you happily settled down with a nice girl."

Artemis turned to smile slightly at the Eurasian. "There is a certain girl out there, somewhere, whom I will be perfectly willing to marry. I simply have not found her as of yet." Butler looked like he was preparing to dispute this, but lightning interrupted any words he may have said. Rain began to fall, slowly at first and gradually faster.

"A hurricane is coming!" shouted a crewman. "Stand fast! Secure the rigging!" Everyone aboard the ship rushed around, trying to help with one thing or another. Even Artemis himself assisted with the sails.

Holly grew anxious for the passengers as the storm intensified. While probably not a hurricane, the elements of the storm were definitely threatening. At some point, the humans began loading into lifeboats. It was around this time that a stray bolt of lightning hit the mast, setting the sail on fire and causing the wood to break.

Artemis was climbing into the final lifeboat when there came a piercing shriek from above – Beckett screaming from the deck. He had been forgotten in the commotion. Holly reached up from the rungs in an attempt to help the boy, but fierce winds and waves swept her into the sea before she could make it.

Disregarding his suit uncharacteristically, Artemis dove from the lifeboat into the water and after swimming a few excruciating feet climbed up some rungs on the side of the boat. Shielding his eyes from the smoke, he glanced around anxiously for his youngest brother. Eventually he caught sight of the blonde head sticking out near a higher level.

Artemis ran over and extended his arms to the child. "Jump, Beckett!" he called hoarsely over the raging weather. "You can do it!" Though wailing, Beckett obeyed, and Artemis caught him (barely). The eldest Fowl son then sprinted to the edge of the burning ship, where Butler waited with the lifeboat. "Butler!" Once his bodyguard realized what he planned to do, Artemis dropped Beckett as lightly as possible into Butler's waiting arms.

He stole a glance around the ship. The fire had spread quickly, and now it had nearly consumed the entire top deck. What concerned the teenager most, though, was what the fire was _about_ to consume – the fireworks ammunition. Coughing, Artemis jumped from the ship into the water, just in time to avoid the immense explosion that followed.

Though he escaped the worst of the damage, he was still subjected to its aftereffects. His simple momentum had propelled him deep underwater, and the energy boom created by the explosion pushed him even deeper. Despite fierce efforts to reach the surface, he ran out of air just before he could make it. His eyes closed as he drifted, unconscious, through the dirty seawater.

Holly, who had managed to grab onto a floating barrel, caught a glimpse of a familiar black-haired boy bobbing with the waves. She swam against the current towards him, eventually managing to secure a grip on his shirt. Clutching her old friend, the elf began the difficult journey to land.

After a long swim with more than her fair share of swallowing and spitting out water, she was able to crawl onto the shore and lay Artemis out on his back. The boy coughed up some water but hadn't moved other than that. Seeing that Holly was growing anxious, Foaly and N°1 came out of hiding behind a large mound of earth. The centaur came and sat beside her.

"Is he . . . dead?" Holly asked hesitantly, her throat tight.

N°1, who had also taken a seat beside her, lifted Artemis's foot to his ear. He gave Holly a pitiful look. "I can't make out a heartbeat."

Holly was distracted by further coughing from the teenager in question. The coughing brought up some water, and then he began to breathe normally.

"He's all right," she said, smiling in her relief. "He's just like I remember. Older, but basically the same." Foaly and N°1 exchanged nervous expressions at this statement but said nothing.

What would I give to live where you are?

What would I pay to stay here beside you?

What would I do to see you smiling at me?

The sun shone through the parting clouds, warming them. Artemis shuddered once as he slowly awakened.

Where would we walk

Where would we run

If we could stay all day in the sun?

Just you and me

And I could be

Part of your world

A child's cry of "Artemis!" alerted Holly to the approaching humans – Butler and the blonde twin, Beckett. The three fairies scrambled to hide again behind the large mound.

Butler knelt beside Artemis as Beckett ran in hyperactive circles around them. "You really delight in these sadistic strains on my blood pressure, don't you?" asked the giant, only half joking as he pulled his Principal to his feet.

Artemis staggered as he stood, still unsteady. "A girl . . ." he started, ". . . rescued me."

Butler chuckled. "I think you swallowed a bit too much seawater, Artemis."

Artemis gazed out over the land. "It was the girl from my dreams. She was talking to me."

Butler's expression tightened just a bit. "Well, I think we had better get you back to Fowl Manor." With that, he gathered the two Fowl boys and led them towards the Bentley.

Once the humans disappeared from sight, the three fairies rose from their hiding place. "That was too close," Foaly said nervously. "Nowwe're going to go back to Haven and forget this ever happened. The commander doesn't have to know. You won't tell him," he gestured to N°1, "I won't tell him. I will stay in one piece." Holly, however, was oblivious.

_I don't know when_  
_I don't know how_  
_But I know something's starting right now_  
_Watch and you'll see_  
_Someday I'll be_  
_Part of your world_

Mervall and Descant, ever the diligent workers, had been watching the entire exchange with their Koboi iris cams, sending the live feed to Opal, who was thrilled. "Oh, no, no, no, no, _no_!" the pixie laughed. "I can't stand it. It's too easy! The captain is in love with a _human_. And not just any human – Artemis Fowl! Her commander will _love_ that." Her youthful face twisted into a malicious grin. "Commander Root's headstrong, lovesick officer would make a charming addition to my closet." She glanced, pleased, toward her colossal closet, where distressed "boots" lay in the shadows. Feeling the situation merited it, she popped another truffle into her mouth, swallowed it appreciatively, and then laughed madly.


	3. Chapter 2: Under the Ground

**A/N:** Highlight of my week? Reenacting the Little Mermaid with my younger brother and sister in the pool. We were awesomesauce, if I do say so myself. I think we all ended up playing everyone . . . when I was Triton I used a broom as my trident to destroy my sister's "grotto." (My brother and I both did the sound effects for that.) My brother made a sweet "harpoon" out of some pole-thing he found, which was good for at the end when Eric (him) harpooned Ursula (me). He also made quite the lovely Ursula – his evil laugh made me crack up like an idiot (which wasn't good, because at that point I was Ariel). Anna (my sister) and I sang "Under the Sea," and when we couldn't remember the words we just went "Something, something, something, something rhymes with sea!" And a good time was had by all. :)

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, which here includes pretty much everything. Except my new collection of Harvard Classics, and my broom trident, I do own those. ^_^

**Police Plaza, LEPrecon Headquarters **

"Captain Short!" called a Recon sprite, pounding his fist on the door of the only bathroom in the building. "Get out! You've been in there all morning!"

Holly opened the door agreeably, actually smiling. The sprite's left eye twitched; that was probably the warmest reception she had ever given him. Holly made her way to her desk, quite obviously in her own world. She raked her fingers through her hair (which she was growing out), then headed for Foaly's lab. On her way out, she nearly collided with her commander. His face was the usual beet-red, but she merely smiled at him. "Good morning, Commander." She even hummed a little to herself as she continued walking.

Corporal Lili Frond, who had arrived just in time to see that, giggled. "Oh, she's got it bad."

A vein pulsed in Root's temple. "What? What has she got?" If one of his best officers had gone and gotten herself sick . . .

The blonde sighed happily. "Isn't it obvious, Commander? Captain Short's in love."

Root's face turned an even deeper red. "Captain Short? In love?" He thought a moment – his fatherly side was somewhat pleased, but his commander side was thinking, _This had better not interfere with her work._ He decided to conference with Foaly on it.

Down in the Ops Booth, Foaly was pacing anxiously. "Okay, so far, so good," he muttered to himself. "I don't think the commander knows yet, but it won't be easy keeping something like this a secret for long." He trotted over to Holly, who was staring at his favorite huge screen, where several live links were playing of nearby shots. "Holly, get your head out of the clouds and back under earth where it belongs," he told her. "Down here is your home! Holly, listen to me. The Mud Man world is a mess. Life under the ground is better than anything they got up there."

_The Mud Man sun shines brighter on somebody else's break_  
_You think about going up there, but that is a big mistake_

Holly began to glance back towards the screen while Foaly sang his point. He took her by the chin and made her look at him eye to eye.

_Just look at the world around you, right here in the city lower_  
_Such wonderful things surround you, what more are you looking for?_

Foaly pressed a few buttons on his computer, making new view-boxes come up. They were security cameras from around Haven City. Holly's eyes flickered from box to box as she watched the daily subterranean routine pass, similar to any day before.

_Under the ground, under the ground_  
_Dear, it's not tragic where we have magic, don't make me hound_  
_Up in the mud they scheme all day_  
_Out in the sun they slave away_  
_While we're demure and fully secure under the ground_

Everyone below earth knew about the stupidity some fairies showed by traveling aboveground and being seen by hippies, but to help make his point, Foaly brought up some pictures and videos of moronic gnomes and dwarfs looking awful on the surface.

_The fairies below are happy as throughout Haven they tour_  
_The fairies above aren't happy; they're sad 'cause they miss the core_  
_But fairies above are lucky; they are already done_  
_But when the Mud Men send probes, guess who's going to be gone?_

"Oh, oh!"

_Under the ground, under the ground_  
_It's simply dazing with tech this amazing to be endowed_  
_We're what the land folks want to find_  
_Under the ground we're off the line_  
_We have no trouble, it's so lovable, under the ground_

_Under the ground, under the ground_  
_Since life is sweet here, we've got the beat here, that's how we're found_  
_Even the dwarf and the troll, they get the urge and start to roll_  
_We've got the spirit, you've got to hear it_  
_Under the ground_

Some workers entered Ops Booth with the intention of cleaning, but when they saw the centaur was doing, they joined in the song. He continued, pointing to each fairy as he named them.

_Newt plays the flute_  
_Carp plays the harp_  
_Plaice plays the bass_  
_And they're sounding sharp_

_Bass plays the brass_  
_Chub plays the tub_  
_Fluke is the duke of soul_

"Yeah," Fluke added.

_Ray, he can play_  
_Lings on the strings_  
_Trout rockin' out_  
_Blackfish, she sings_  
_Smelt and Sprat, they know where it's at_  
_And oh, Blowfish blows!_

As Foaly and his backup singers/dancers continued during an interlude, they didn't notice N°1 slip in through the open door. He weaved through the maze of fairies to find Holly and whisper a message to her. Her face lit up, and they sneaked out past the rest of the group. Foaly, still in the zone and oblivious, cried, "Yeah!"

_Under the ground, under the ground_  
_When a pixie sings the Dixie, it's music to me_  
_What do they have, a lot of sand?_  
_We have an awesome magical band_  
_Each little sprite here knows how it's right here, under the ground_  
_Each little elf here dances in stealth here, under the ground_  
_Each little dwarf here works on a wharf here_  
_That's why we have purpose under the surface_  
_Yeah, we're in luck here, down in the muck here, under the ground_

"Now, tell me that's not impressive, Holly." When Foaly was met with silence, he turned to look for the elf, who was no longer there. "Holly?" She was gone. His workers left in disappointment, and he sighed. "Someone has got to nail that elf's boots to the floor."

**Holly Short's Backyard**

At that moment, Holly was sneaking into her Mud Man shed, with N°1 leading her by the hand. "Why can't you just tell me what this is all about?" she asked in a hushed tone, not that anyone was around to hear them.

"It's a surprise," the imp grinned. "A secret, a mystery." Holly rolled her eyes but agreeably let him have his moment of suspense.

**Ops Booth**

Meanwhile, Foaly nearly had an anxiety attack when Commander Root came to pay him a visit, looking oddly pleasant, which made the centaur even more nervous. "Morning, pony," the commander grunted as he doused his cigar.

"Yes?" Foaly squeaked, then coughing to continue more normally, "Yes, Commander?"

**Holly Short's Backyard**

"I found something," N°1 informed his friend.

"Found it where?"

"On the floor of Commander Root's office," he blurted guiltily, bouncing on his tail anxiously, "but I think it's yours." Holly blinked in confusion as she waited for N°1 to fetch it from a shelf.

**Ops Booth**

"Foaly," began the commander pointedly, "have you noticed anything _different _about Captain Short?" Foaly began to sweat as he tried to look innocent by tapping on his keyboard. "Any unusual _emotions_, for instance?"

**Holly Short's Backyard**

Holly's eyes widened as N°1 presented her with his find. "I would know this necklace anywhere!" she exclaimed, grabbing it from the imp's hands and scrutinizing it. A gold coin with a small hole in the center dangled from a leather cord. "I gave this to Artemis, years ago. Why would Julius have it?"

**Ops Booth**

Foaly cracked under Root's intense stare. "I'm sorry! It wasn't my fault; she wouldn't listen to me! I told her not to go to the surface, but she went anyways, and there was a ship, and it was Artemis Fowl's –"

"Fowl?" Root bellowed, his semi-pleasant mood instantly giving place to even more rage than usual. "What _about_ Fowl?"

**Holly Short's Backyard**

It was only a few minutes later when the commander burst into the shed, which was just the time when the pieces came together in Holly's mind. "Holly!" His voice filled the shed, and his face reddened even more deeply in anger as he took in the Mud Man collection around him.

However, Holly was just as wrathful. "You mindwiped me!" she yelled. "You must have done Artemis too, if you had this!" She pitched the coin necklace at Foaly, obviously not missing his role in the problem.

"You disobeyed a direct order!"

"A direct order? You lied to me! How could you do that?"

"If you had obeyed me, we couldn't be having this discussion!"

"I love him," Holly spat.

Root's eyes glowed in fury at this information. "No. Have you lost your senses completely?" he demanded. "He's a human; you're an elf!"

"I don't care," she said stubbornly.

"D'Arvit, Holly, I am going to get through to you," Root said darkly. "And if this is the only way . . . so be it." He snapped his mouth shut and instead pulled out his favored tri-barreled blaster, sliding it to the highest setting as he aimed at a shelf. Holly's eyes widened as she realized what he meant to do.

"Commander, don't!"

Her cry fell on deaf ears. His finger pulled the trigger, and the sound of her collections shattering filled the air. Repeatedly he blasted around the shed, until the Mud Man things were thoroughly destroyed. The sound of tinkling glass from a broken trinket was the only noise for a few moments. Then the commander holstered his blaster and stormed back out of the shed, leaving Holly frozen and stony-faced. Foaly and N°1 tried to comfort her, but she refused to acknowledge them, and they stepped outside as well.

Holly retreated into herself, as she always did when she was at her angriest. At this point she was willing to disregard anything the commander had ever said to her – a fact which did not escape Opal's diligent twin workers. Mervall and Descant stepped slowly into the shed, careful not to spook the pretty elf.

"Poor elf," Mervall commented smoothly to his brother. "She has a very serious problem."

"If only there were something we could do," Descant replied easily.

They were unsure if she would react, but then without looking up she asked lowly, "What do you want?"

"We represent someone who can help you," Mervall told her. "Someone who can make all your dreams come true."

"Just imagine . . . You and your genius . . ."

". . . Together," they finished in sync, "forever."

Holly's eyes closed, and her brow furrowed. "I don't understand."

Mervall came closer to her. "Miss Koboi has great powers."

Hazel eyes flew open again and she rounded on them. "Miss Ko – Opal? I couldn't possibly . . . No! Get out of here, leave me alone!"

The Brill brothers obediently retreated to the door. "Suit yourself," Mervall shrugged.

"It was only a suggestion," concurred his brother smoothly. As he left he passed a certain coin necklace on the floor, which he kicked so that it landed with a clatter by the elf's foot. She looked at it without expression, almost as if she didn't care about it. Almost.

"Wait," she blurted.

That moment, the brothers turned simultaneously. "Yeeeeess?"

Foaly and N°1 had been standing outside the shed, quietly debating the best way to help Holly. Foaly was feeling guilty about letting her secret slip, and while N°1 didn't like to lay blame, he was eager to clean up the mess, the sooner the better. However, the talking ceased instantly when they were passed by the Brill brothers and their favorite LEPrecon. Foaly rushed up to stop her. "Holly! You can't go with them! They work for Opal Koboi!" he cried out to his elfin friend. This was something she already knew.

This was not well received. With a glare he hadn't earned in years, the elf told him, "Why don't you go tell the commander? You're good at that!" She sped up to join the twins again. The centaur and the imp stared wordlessly after them for a few moments before Foaly came to his senses.

"Come on!" He gestured for the young warlock to follow him as he chased after the group of three.

**Opal Koboi's Workplace**

The twins were at that moment leading Holly into Opal's lair. On the way, she couldn't help but notice the boots: they lined the halls and rooms. A few times she tripped over them as she walked. It gave her ominous feeling, which made no sense, since of course they were only footwear.

Finally they arrived at Opal's lab. "Future Mistress of the Galaxy?" Mervall addressed the humanoid pixie. (This struck Holly as an odd reference, but no matter.)

Opal turned in her swivel chair, a wide smile spreading as she recognized the guest. "Ah, Captain Short. Please come in. You mustn't lurk in doorways; it's rude. One might question your instruction." She chuckled at her private joke, then returned to business. "So, you're here because you have a thing for a human. The Fowl boy. To each their own, I suppose, though you'd never catch _me_ mooning after a Mud Man." She turned to her mirror to apply a new layer of lipstick. Smacking her lips, she continued, "Well, Holly dear, the solution to your problem is simple." Opal unscrewed a bottle of nail polish and lightly touched up her fingernails. After blowing on them for a quick dry, she returned her attention to Holly.

"The only way to get what you want," she declared, "is to become a human yourself."

As much as she disliked even being there, Holly was curious. "Could you do that?"

Opal smiled widely and stood from her chair. "My dear captain. That's what I _do._ It's what I _live_ for. To help unfortunate fairies, like yourself – poor souls with no one else to turn to."

_I admit that in the past I've been a nasty_  
_They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch_  
_But you'll find that nowadays_  
_I've mended all my ways_  
_Repented, seen the light, and made a switch_

"True? Yes," she proclaimed, pointing a tapered finger at Holly. The pixie began to stroll around her lab, occasionally stopping to rummage around in her storage boxes for chemicals or test tubes.

_And I fortunately know a little magic_  
_It's a talent that I always have possessed_  
_And here lately, please don't laugh,_  
_I use it on behalf_  
_Of the miserable, lonely, and depressed_

"Pathetic," Opal muttered scornfully to Mervall and Descant, who chuckled in sync. She brought up a small holograph projector from her high school years. From it she showed the images of desolate-looking fairy people, a man and a woman.

_Poor unfortunate souls_  
_In pain, in need_  
_This one longing to be thinner_  
_That one wants to get the girl_  
_And do I help them?_

"Yes indeed." She pressed a button on the machine with one hand and waved the other over the images as she did so, making it look as they changed favorably under her influence.

_Those poor unfortunate souls_  
_So sad, so true_  
_They come flocking to my doorstep_  
_Crying, "Help us, Opal, please!"_  
_And I help them!_

"Yes, I do," Opal reiterated sweetly. She leaned luxuriously against the counter as she combined chemicals.

_Now, it's happened once or twice_  
_Someone couldn't pay the price_  
_And I'm afraid I had to rake them across the coals_

A pseudo-empathetic frown marred the pixie's pretty features as she pressed the projector button again and with a wave of her hand turned the holograph fairies into shoes – specifically boots. Opal flicked the projector off quickly so Holly wouldn't be able to dwell on the negative.

_Yes, I've had the odd complaint_  
_But on the whole I've been a saint_  
_To those poor unfortunate souls_

Foaly and N°1 at this time sneaked through the open door, worried for their friend. They arrived to see Opal take Holly gingerly by the arm and lead her towards the table with bubbling test tubes. "I can make you a potion that will turn you into a human for three days," the pixie told her. "Understand? Three days. Now, listen. This is important." Here she turned the projector back on and put up three suns. "Before the sun sets on the third day, you've got to get the dear young genius to fall in love with you. That is, he has to kiss you. Not just any kiss," she added. "The kiss of _true love_!

"If he does kiss you before then, you'll remain human permanently. However, if he doesn't, you'll turn back into an elf. And – " the suns disappeared " – you'll belong to _me_."

"No, Holly!" Foaly shouted, before Mervall and Descant raced over and muted both him and N°1.

Opal glanced over at him dangerously before smiling sweetly again at Holly. "Do we have a deal?"

Holly, though interested, was hesitant to agree. "If I become human," she said slowly, "I'll never see the commander or my friends again."

Opal didn't even feign sympathy. "That's _right._ But . . . you'll have your man." She giggled. "Life's full of tough choices, isn't it?" She paused, having remembered something. "Oh, and there is one more thing. We haven't discussed the subject of payment! You can't get something for nothing, you know."

"But I don't have anyth – " Holly protested.

Opal waved a hand to shush her. "I'm not asking much. Just a token, really, a trifle. You'll never even miss it. What I want from you is . . . your voice."

Holly stepped back, unconsciously putting a hand to her throat. "My voice?"

"You've got it, sweetcakes," Opal said flatly. "No more talking, singing, _zip_."

"But without my voice, how can I – ?"

"You'll have your looks," insisted Opal, "your reasonably pretty face. And don't underestimate the importance of body language, ha!"

_The men up there don't like a lot of blabber_  
_They think a girl who gossips is a bore!_  
_Yes, on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word_  
_And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?  
_  
_Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation_  
_True gentlemen avoid it when they can_  
_But they dote and swoon and fawn on a lady who's withdrawn_  
_It's she who holds her tongue who gets a man_

Opal drew up a contract paper, flittering it in the air in front of Holly's face. She gleefully handed the elf a pen.

_Come on, you poor unfortunate soul!_  
_Go ahead!_  
_Make your choice!_  
_I'm a very busy pixie and I haven't got all day_  
_It won't cost much_  
_Just your voice!_

_You poor unfortunate soul_  
_It's sad but true_  
_If you want to cross a bridge, Miss Short,_  
_You've got to pay the toll_  
_Take a gulp and take a breath_  
_And go ahead and sign the scroll_

"Mervall, Descant, now I've got her, boys," she hissed to the brothers, grinning.

_The boss is on a roll_  
_This poor unfortunate soul_

Opal pointed a finger at Holly to punctuate each of her last syllables. In a flurry, Holly scribbled her name on the bottom of the page. Opal's eyes gleamed as she stored the contract. The pixie gleefully extracted a test tube containing a bubbling mixture. She instructed the elf to hold it under her nose, and then with a thin layer of the _mesmer_ in her voice commanded, "Now, sing!"

Even under the spell, Holly was confused. "Sing? Why?"

Opal sighed impatiently, raising the intensity of the _mesmer_. "A scale, Short! Now!" Holly obediently began a slow C scale. Opal held out a large opal gemstone eagerly. "Keep singing!"

As Holly progressed through the scale, her voice rose quite literally from her throat and entered the gemstone. Opal began giggling as she gave the elf another potion, this one to drink. Holly downed it quickly and waited for a moment . . . nothing. Then her body began to buck as her magic left her. Simultaneously she grew to a proportionate human age and size, her hair and nails lengthening rapidly as cells reproduced.

Eventually the growth spurt stopped. Holly stumbled out the door and raced for the nearby shot as quickly as she could manage. Opal force-fed Foaly and N°1 some mixtures as well before they sprinted out after their friend.


	4. Chapter 3: Prince Ahmed and Periebanou

**A/N:** I have made it my objective to have this finished by the time The Atlantis Complex comes out (July 20). This shouldn't be a problem because I already have it all written, it just needs to be typed.

**Disclaimer:** I own it! I own it all! MWAHAHA~… Don't look at me like that. Okay, fine. I own nothing. *huff*

**On Shore in Ireland**

Once her initial frenzy had subsided, Holly, clad only in a way-too-small onepiece, found herself lying in the seawater, propped up on her elbows. As she tried to come to terms with her new size, a fish and an angry-looking crab swam up to her.

"Look at what that pixie did to us!" the crab – Foaly – cried. "I told you she was no good. Who's the paranoid one now?" Holly gave him a confused look as she stood shakily, brushing long, wet auburn hair out of her face. Foaly turned to click his crab claws at the fish bobbing pleasantly beside him. "And N°1 is sparking magic in the ocean! What am I supposed to do with him?" Holly's only response was to trip over her now-long legs and fall back into the water with a splash.

"Can't she hear you?" N°1 asked the centaur-crab, his words burbling in the water.

"Of course she can," Foaly replied. "She's mute, not deaf." Then he realized something. "She's human now. Entirely human. That means she has no magic . . . and no gift of tongues." He glanced at the girl in question. "She can't understand Gnommish anymore."

"What _can_ she understand?" N°1 asked nervously.

"I don't know," Foaly admitted, "but I know how to find out." He began calling out to her in different prominent languages – French, Russian, Japanese, Spanish (Spain and Latin America), and so forth. When he finally spoke in English, she turned to find the source, not expecting to see a crab waving a pincer at her. "It's Foaly," he called up to her. Noticing the fish and the sparks around it, she silently asked, _N°1?_ The crab nodded.

"English, then," Foaly said in Gnommish to N°1, who nodded (as well as a fish can). Switching back to English, he addressed, "We need to get you some new clothes. Do you see a town nearby?" She stood obediently and peered into the distance, but to no avail. Searching for another option, her friend's eyes landed on a sailboat crashed nearby. "How," he asked, "do you feel about improvising?"

Twenty minutes later, Foaly scuttled around Holly's feet, admiring his handiwork. Holly herself was not particularly pleased with her new outfit, but anything was better than the elf-size onepiece she had come up in. "I like it," endorsed N°1. Holly gave him a look that clearly said, _Says the imp who likes Lady Heatherington Smythe's Hedgerow._

As it was, Foaly had torn down a sail from the abandoned boat and used a rope to tie it around Holly like a dress. "This is fashionable for Mud Girls," he insisted. She just tugged at the fabric and hoped for salvation.

A quarter-mile off, a Bentley pulled up onto the otherwise empty beach. A very familiar Bentley. Two small children jumped eagerly out of the car, followed by mother, father, and older brother. Foaly and N°1 ducked for cover in the water, and Holly, suddenly nervous to go it alone, dropped to her knees to convince them to stay.

However, she didn't stay in that position for long, because a few moments later one of those small children came barreling into her, knocking her onto her rear. She recognized as the twin from the ship – Beckett. And despite the differences in her appearance, she could tell that he recognized her as well. He planted a kiss on her cheek, this apparently being his standard greeting.

"Beckett!" Holly and Beckett both turned to see a certain tall teenager coming towards them. Artemis, of course. On instinct she tried to call his name, but no sound came out. She frowned as she realized for the first time exactly how frustrating this would be. When she blinked back to the present, she realized that Beckett had left her side to meet Artemis, crying out eagerly about a "nice girl" he had found again. Out of curiosity, it seemed, the elder Fowl allowed himself to be led by the younger one to meet this person, who was of course Holly.

"I'm sorry if my brother has bothered you, ma'am," Artemis said formally. He didn't appear to notice the way she raked her hair back to allow him a better view of her face, but then he said, "You . . . look familiar to me."

"She was at your birthday party!" butted in Beckett.

Artemis shook his head. "No, I wrote the guest list myself. I know who was there; she was not."

"But I saw her there!" Beckett insisted.

"No, you didn't," sighed Artemis. Then turning back to Holly: "You do seem very familiar, though. Have we met?" She nodded vigorously, and as he looked her over, she thought she saw remembrance in his expression. "I thought so," he said, getting excited. "I think you're the one I've been looking for! What's your name?"

Holly, she wanted to shout but could only mouth. Holly.

His countenance fell slightly. "You can't speak?"

She had to shake her head mournfully. It had only taken effect that day, but he didn't know that, and she couldn't tell him.

He deflated. "Oh," he said. "You couldn't be who I thought, then. My mistake." Holly and Beckett both sighed in frustration. "Well, I can't just leave you out here. Do you need a place to stay?"

Holly hesitated shortly, then nodded. Beckett, understanding for the most part what was being said, took her hand and tugged her toward the rest of the Fowl family. Artemis followed closely behind them. Angeline was the first to notice them coming back with an extra person. "Arty!" she called as they neared. "Who's this lovely young lady?"

"I don't know," he had to reply, looking somewhat abashed.

"Can't you just ask – oh." Holly had motioned to her throat. "Do you sign?" Angeline asked, signing the words as she spoke them. Holly shook her head apologetically.

As Mrs. Fowl tried to think of another method of communication, Artemis stepped in. "She has nowhere to go. I thought we could house her, at least for a few days." Holly quickly turned to him and held up three fingers. "Three days?" She nodded. "Three days," he relayed to his mother, who took a moment to consider it and then agreed.

"Yay!" Beckett grinned as he clung to Holly's arm. She smiled down at the little blonde boy; it had been too long since she had been around children.

"Simple-toon," came the call from behind Angeline. The other twin and Artemis Fowl I were coming up to meet the new member of their party. Holly was glad to see Artemis's father happy and healthy, as opposed to frozen and ill in the Arctic Ocean.

"Myles, I told you not to call people that," Angeline addressed her third son reprovingly.

"Who is this?" Mr. Fowl said warmly. Angeline was happy to do introductions. "I'm sure you've been through a lot," he said to Holly sympathetically. "We were planning on spending the afternoon here, but if you would rather go home and rest, we can do that." Holly smiled and shook her head to say it wasn't necessary; their compassion was overwhelmingly sweet, especially since they didn't even remember that they knew her.

"Are you sure, sweetie?" Angeline asked. "It really wouldn't be a problem." Holly shook her head again. "All right, then. The boys, Myles and Beckett, were asking to play in the water, so Artemis, could you please keep our guest company?" He complied, and they found seats on the sand as the Fowl parents accompanied the twins into the ocean.

Holly was not a fan of small talk, and she knew Artemis was not skilled at it either; however, she had to commend him for trying. After a few minutes, though, there was little else to say (or motion, in Holly's case) about the weather, so he steered the conversation in a more useful direction.

"I obviously can't just make up a name for you," Artemis said. Holly shrugged in agreement. "I suppose I'll just have to guess." He paused a moment, trying to think of common girls' names. "Is it Rachel?" She shook her head, frowning. "How about Diana?" She shook her head again. "Jessica?" And again.

A familiar-looking crab scuttled by them, frustration evident in his expression as he hissed, "Holly. Her name is Holly."

Artemis blinked, confused and certain he was hearing voices. "Holly?" he asked himself. Overhearing, she nodded emphatically. He smiled shortly. "Holly. That's . . . it's pretty. All right. Holly." She waited for some semblance of memory recovery ("oh, Captain Short, it's been a while, so good to see you") but of course none came. She felt ridiculous – her presence hadn't prompted him the last time he'd been mindwiped either – but there was nothing else for her to hope for.

"Holly?" She snapped her attention back to the young man beside her. "How old are you?" he repeated patiently.

Holly blinked, face blank as she realized she didn't know. She motioned for him to wait where he was, and then she hurried to the water's edge. Peering into it, she saw in her reflection what she had feared, or hoped, for – she was, of all things, a teenager. An older one, probably nearly twenty, actually, but a teenager nonetheless. _D'Arvit, _she mouthed at her reflection. _D'Arvit. _She was young for an elf, at eighty years old, but when Opal had made her the proportionate human age she hadn't expected it to be so . . . well, so young. And so close to Artemis's age. She swallowed. Gathering herself, she finally returned to Artemis's side and, taking her best guess, motioned one and nine for nineteen years old.

He nodded, and a comfortable silence settled between them as they watched the other Fowls wade in the water. Eventually six o'clock came around and the twins began to complain of hunger, so they and their parents dried off with some towels and then crowded into the Bentley with Artemis and Holly, who each held a twin on their laps out of necessity.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, "we weren't expecting company." She cast him a good-natured look that quite clearly said she didn't mind, which was true. Fairies didn't reproduce nearly as often as humans did, so children were few and far between. She had forgotten how well she liked them. Beckett, who of course had picked her lap over his brother's, seemed pleased by her presence as well. The arrangement was close but comfortable, and the atmosphere was pleasant as they drove home to Fowl Manor.

**Dining Hall, Fowl Manor**

An hour later, most of the residents of Fowl Manor had not yet arrived for dinner, but Butler and Artemis were already there, having a private discussion. "I'm sorry you couldn't accompany us to the beach," Artemis sighed, "but there was nothing I could do. My mother insisted it was to be just family."

"I still worried the entire time," Butler replied. "You attract trouble like no one else I know. And I haven't met this girl you brought home. She could be anyone – spy, assassin – "

"That's unreasonable. The Fowls are completely legitimate, and have been for several years." Artemis was firm in this. "However, about the girl. Her name is Holly."

A sad expression entered Butler's eyes, just for a moment. "Is it?"

"Yes." Artemis eyed him, trying to evaluate the strange reaction. "She'll be staying here for three days. She can't speak, but she can hear. What's odd, though, is that despite being mute, she reminds me uncannily of the girls in my dreams."

"Which," Butler interjected, "if I may remind you again, are only dreams. Not reality."

"I disagree. I'm sure these persistent dreams are projections of memory." Artemis's tone indicated they had debated this often. "I'm going to find that girl . . . and I'm going to marry her." There was finality in his words. Luckily for Butler's pulsing eye vein, the rest of the group arrived then. Mr. Fowl came in first, followed closely by the twins. Mrs. Fowl and Holly were still in the shadows. They could hear Angeline encouraging the guest.

"Come on, sweetheart, don't be shy," she said, a smile in her voice, and the two of them stepped into the dining hall as well. Holly was no longer clad in a sail (thank goodness) but in an emerald green dress, which probably had come from Angeline's own closet, since they hadn't had time to go shopping before dinner.

Angeline, that wily one, led Holly to Artemis. "Isn't she a vision?" she asked her son sweetly.

Artemis, however, seemed to be having trouble with coherency. "Well . . . um . . . you look fantastic," he finally managed, flushing just the slightest bit. Holly suppressed a grin; it would appear he had not improved his social skills much in a year. Since everyone had now arrived, they sat down around the table; ever the gentleman, Artemis helped Holly take her seat before sitting in the chair beside her.

From across the table, Butler was evaluating the guest. She didn't seem dangerous, but the best never did. Her auburn hair was long and thick – very innocent – but it was pulled back, revealing a slim, pointy build. Very black widow-like. The name also concerned him; not that there weren't other people in the world named Holly, but paired with the features it gave him cause for worry. He wished he had contact with Haven; Foaly would be able to tell him if the People had developed technology for species changes, which was what he suspected of their guest. Not that he would confront her about it if he found it to be true, because frankly, he was tired of lying to Artemis.

"What's for dinner?" Myles asked his mother.

"Chef Luc is – shh, dear!" The last part was directed at Beckett, who had begun chanting loudly that he was hungry. "Chef Luc is making his specialty – stuffed crab." Holly's eye twitched, and she prayed that Foaly had had the sense to stay out of the kitchen.

**Kitchen**

Which, of course, he hadn't. Foaly had hitched a ride to Fowl Manor in Holly's makeshift dress but had scuttled to freedom the moment they'd stepped inside. He'd taken the opportunity to check out the tech upgrades and security measures; then somehow he found himself in the kitchen, where he was getting chills, and it wasn't from the air conditioning. In front of him were –

Fish.

Dead fish.

_Everywhere._

And on a large serving platter . . . stuffed crabs. Foaly felt nauseated and had the urge to run and hide, which wasn't helped when he noticed the song the Fowl chef was singing in a thick French accent as he prepared these barbarous things for dinner.

_Nouvelle cuisine  
Les Champs-Elysées  
Maurice Chevalier_

_Les poissons, how I love les poissons  
Love to chop and to serve little fish  
First I cut off their heads, then I pull out their bones  
Ah, mais oui, __ḉ__a c'est toujours delis__h_

_Les poissions, les poissons, hee hee hee, haw haw haw  
With the cleaver I hack them in two  
Then I pull out what's inside, and I serve it up fried  
'Cause I love little fishies, don't you?_

_Here's something for tempting the palate_  
_Prepared in the classic technique  
First you pound the fish flat with the mallet_

_Then you slash through the skin, give the belly a slice  
Then you rub some salt in 'cause that makes it taste nice_

"You're disgusting," Foaly blurted. His crab-size voice was too small for the chef to have heard the exact words, but the noise did catch the attention of the French man. Luc walked over to the counter and stared at what he thought was a forgotten part of the meal.

"Zut alors, I have missed one!" exclaimed the chef.

_Sacrebleu! What is this?  
How on earth could I miss  
Such a sweet, little succulent crab?_

_Quel dommage! What a loss!  
Here we go, in the sauce  
Now some flour, I think just a dab_  
_Then I'll stuff you with bread  
It don't hurt 'cause you're dead!  
And you're certainly lucky you are  
'Cause it's gonna be hot  
In my big silver pot  
Toodle-oo, les poissons, au revoir!_

Foaly barely managed to catch himself before he fell into the boiling water. With a cleverly aimed swing, he threw himself back onto the counter. Luc frowned as he heard the light clatter. "What," he asked, picking up the crab, "is this?" Foaly clamped a claw onto the chef's nose and beat a quick escape. Unfortunately, the French man would not give up so easily. Five minutes later, Angeline walked in to see her employee making a large, angry mess.

"Luc!" she exclaimed. He turned, looking bashful. "What are you doing?"

Luc sputtered for a moment before finally managing, "Sorry, madame." She sighed and picked up the platter of stuffed crabs to take to the dining hall.

**Dining Hall**

"Butler, please," Artemis senior was saying in a placating tone. The giant was unwilling, but at the insisting of his employer he handed over his Sig Sauer for Holly to inspect. She looked it over with interest, pleased to finally be of the size to hold it. "Do you shoot?" Mr. Fowl asked her. Hesitating a moment, she shook her head, but both Butler and Artemis recognized the practiced hand with which she held the Glock. When finally she relinquished it, Butler was glad to have it back in his possession.

"I have the food," called Angeline from the doorway; she came around and carefully set a covered plate in front of each person, ending with herself. After she sat down at her place beside Holly, she turned to address her eldest son on Holly's other side, uncovering her plate at the same time. Holly's eyes widened when she noticed Foaly himself curled up on Mrs. Fowl's plate; she motioned for him to jump into her hands.

"It's not a bad idea, if she's interested," Artemis was telling his mother. "What do you say, Holly?" She quickly hid her hands in her lap and turned to face him with her best Innocent look. "Would you like to join me for an outing tomorrow? Sightseeing in Ireland?" She smiled and nodded. He smiled in response, the expression actually reaching his clear blue eyes.

"Arty," Angeline exclaimed, "that's the first time I've seen you smile in weeks!" Holly couldn't hide a small smirk as she watched the flustered teenager hurriedly change the subject.

**Later That Night**

Holly was wandering the halls of Fowl Manor in a very recently purchased nightdress. Honestly, she would probably have been more comfortable in some boxer shorts and a large t-shirt, but she appreciated the Fowls' hospitality, and besides, that was not exactly a request you made to people you had supposedly just met. Her shoulders shook with silent laughter as she played out the scene in her head.

"But I don't like Beowulf!" whined a child from a bedroom around the corner. Another child's voice agreed. Beckett and Myles, doubtless.

"We read part of Beowulf last night," an older boy, Artemis, pointed out.

"And we didn't like it then," said Myles. "Can we read 'Fousand and One Nights?" When Beckett agreed, Artemis sighed in defeat and pulled out the new book. Holly could hear the fwip, fwip, fwip as he browsed antiquated pages to find a certain story.

"The Story of Prince Ahmed and Periebanou."

"Perie-what?" asked Beckett. Even after Artemis sounded out the name again, the blonde was still confused. "Just call her Perie."

Artemis frowned. "You tell me that every time we read this."

"Artemis is a simple-toon," Myles whispered to his twin, who grinned in agreement. Artemis just sighed again and began to read. Holly stayed where she was to listen, hidden behind the wall by the open door.

"There once was a Sultan of India who had three sons, named Houssain, Ali, and Ahmed. In that land there was also a beautiful princess, Nouronnihar – "

"Call her Noury," Beckett interrupted again; "these names are too hard to remember."

"You're taking all the culture out of the story," Artemis scolded, but he used the shortened names as he read how all three sons wanted to marry the princess, and to prevent jealousy the Sultan sent them off to find rarities, promising the princess's hand to him who found the most extraordinary one. The Fowl twins actually quieted to hear about Houssain's flying carpet, Ali's magical looking glass, and Ahmed's all-curing artificial apple. Holly herself hadn't realized she was leaning in to listen until Artemis paused in his storytelling to look up and smile at her. Smiling back guiltily, she took a seat by the door to hear the rest.

When the met again, Artemis continued, they showed each other what they had bought. However, when Ali's tube showed Princess "Noury" on her deathbed, they used Houssain's carpet and Ahmed's apple to transport to her chambers and cure her. Because each rarity had an important part in saving her life, the Sultan had to issue a new challenge – whoever could shoot an arrow the farthest on her hand. All three participated, but Ahmed's arrow could not be found, so Noury was given to Ali for marriage. Ahmed wished to know where his arrow had fallen, so he went out to search for it. He found it in some steep craggy rocks, where he also encountered a large iron door, which opened to a stairway leading o a magnificent palace. Here he was met by a majestic, beautiful damsel and her group of attending ladies, all richly dressed.

"'Come near, Prince Ahmed,' said the lovely lady. 'You are welcome.' She requested him to sit beside her on a sofa, then explained that her name was 'Perie' and that she was the daughter of one of the most powerful fai – fairies . . ." Artemis trailed off uncharacteristically, his brow furrowing as though he had a sudden headache. "But she should be short . . . " Holly's heart skipped a beat.

"No, it says she's tall," Myles said, pointing to the word on the page.

Exhaling, Artemis lifted his eyes. "You're right, of course." He continued reading up to Ahmed and Perie's marriage and wedding feast, then closed the book.

"Hey! What about the lions?" Beckett complained.

"And the angry dwarf!" Myles put in.

"Tomorrow night," Artemis promised as he stepped out of the room, allowing his parents in to put the boys to bed. Noticing that Holly also was retreating, he called, "Good night." She smiled and gave a small wave in return before entering her bedroom.

"This has been, without a doubt, the single most humiliating day of my life," groused Foaly from atop a dresser, earning a pat on the head from Holly. "I hope you appreciate what I go through for you." Holly was preparing for bed, but something occurred to her and she whirled on him, pointing to her left eye and using her hands to mimic sparks. "Oh, your eye?" A nod. "That was N°1; he just changed the color. Entirely artificial. What, do you want it back to blue?" Another nod, fiercer this time. "We'll run by the river early tomorrow morning. He'll be there. I don't know why you want Artemis's eye color back if you can have your own, but okay, whatever." She gave him an exasperated look as she dropped onto the bed. "Now, for tomorrow, we have to make a plan to get that boy to kiss you," Foaly plotted. "You'll have to look your best. You have to bat your eyes and pucker your lips . . . oh." He had looked over and noticed that Holly was already falling asleep.

"You're hopeless, Holly," Foaly said with no conviction as he curled up to sleep on her pillow. "Completely hopeless."

**Police Plaza**

Commander Root stared angrily out a window, his usual fungus cigar missing. The room was quiet, and the silence was barely broken by the entrance of Vinyáya. He turned to address the wing commander. "Any sign of them?"

"No, Julius," she replied, inwardly distressed herself. "I have Section Eight all over it. We've found no trace of Captain Short, Foaly, or N°1."

"Well, keep looking," Root ordered. "Leave no shuttle unsearched, no building unexplored. Let no one under earth sleep until they are safe in Haven!"

Vinyáya sighed. "Yes, of course," she said, slipping out as quietly as she had come.

Root sank tiredly into his chair. "What have I done," he groaned to himself. "What have I done?"


	5. Chapter 4: Kiss the Girl

**A/N:** This morning my sister was listening to her iPod in the car and I mistook Justin Bieber for Ashley Tisdale (or someone like her). And it happened probably five other times later. Just today! Honestly, I have nothing against him. He just sounds like a girl. And needs a haircut. (Okay, calm down, rabid fangirls. I don't mean anything by this. I really don't care about him either way.)

Ooh, I went to see Clash of the Titans last night. The CGI effects were sweet! :) Sadly it wasn't very quotable. It was pretty good, though; I'd give it 3 1/2 or 4 stars.

**Disclaimer:** When you wish upon a star, it doesn't matter who you are . . . something, something, something, something rhymes with star. What a load of dwarf manure. I could wish on the SUN and I wouldn't own Artemis Fowl. Cry with me.

AFHSAFHSAFHSAFHS

_**Beep. Beep. Beep**__ – thunk. __**Beep**__ – thunk. __**B**__– SMACK! _Holly stumbled out of bed, shaking her head halfheartedly in an attempt to get her long, unruly auburn hair out of her face. Yawning, she tugged off her nightdress and pulled on a light blue summer dress. As with the nightdress, it was not her usual style, but it _was_ pretty, and Angeline had suggested it. Oh well. She brushed her mane, tied it back with a blue ribbon, and made a mental note to cut it later.

The crab on her pillow stirred. "Nanowafers . . . carrots . . . ugh. Holly, where going?" Apparently full sentences didn't appeal to him at four in the morning. She pointed to her eye, scooped him up, and headed for the door.

**River**

"N°1!" Foaly called, scuttling along the riverbank. "N°1! He's supposed to be here."

A sparking fish bobbed to the surface, looking slightly upset. "I'm right here. Please don't yell; my new fish friends are sleeping." Then he brightened. "Guess who I ran into?"

"Ran into," scoffed a familiar voice from the shadows.

"Mulch?" Foaly asked incredulously.

"Yep," N°1 confirmed cheerfully.

"No need to sound so happy about it," Mulch complained, finally coming out of hiding. Foaly chortled. Mulch flapped his wings indignantly. Yes, his wings. "The runt turned me into a seagull!"

"I thought it was appropriate," N°1 said unrepentantly.

With some effort, Foaly suppressed his laughter and turned back to N°1. "Can you take away the false color in Holly's left eye?"

"I wondered when she would ask." The fish motioned for Holly to come down to his level. Eyes glowing for a moment, magical sparks intensifying around him, he touched her face with one fin. Her eyes watered as the hazel dissolved into blue. She smiled, glad to have herself back. "I'll fix Artemis's, too, when this is all over."

"Today Holly and Artemis are going out – sightseeing, if you can believe it," Foaly informed the two that were out of the loop. "If you two can stay near, I'll try to keep you updated. Remember, he's got to kiss her."

Mulch the seagull made a disgusted face. "What kind of weirdo – ow!" Holly had flicked him on the head.

"Holly will belong to Opal if she doesn't," Foaly explained. "And apparently, she loves the Mud Boy." Holly flicked Mulch again, just for good measure. "We could use your help, dwarf."

"All right, fine," the seagull huffed. "I'll help you out. You owe me, though." Holly rolled her eyes.

**Fowl Manor**

Angeline and Artemis senior wanted to keep the twins as home, so Butler had volunteered to chauffeur Artemis junior and Holly. Now he was starting up the Bentley, and the two young adults behind him were arguing over where they were going to sit. In the back of her mind, Holly found it amusing that even when she was mute and he had forgotten he knew her, they still bickered. She knew Foaly was having a good laugh inside her pocket.

"No, you're the guest, you can have the front," Artemis insisted again. Holly made a series of firm gestures that basically said _no, thanks anyways, Mud Boy, you can._ This would have continued, but Butler stepped in and assigned them both to the backseat. They climbed in, and away they went.

Holly loved to stare out the window as they took all the scenic routes; the environment was simply gorgeous. She'd been to Ireland before, obviously, but that was mostly in save-the-world situations, so she hadn't exactly had the time to sit back and enjoy the scenery. Artemis enjoyed pointing out certain landmarks as they passed.

Eventually Butler parked the Bentley in a small town, where it seemed a fair or the like was happening. Artemis looked unsure, and Holly the same, but the giant steered them towards it anyways. He dropped them off and then disappeared, presumably to watch for assassins from the shadows (or something).

They only stayed there until noon, to save the afternoon for other sightseeing, but they covered quite a bit during that time. They watched a few minutes of a puppet show (which amused neither of them), browsed some local food shops, and generally acted like normal teenagers. A townswoman was doing free haircuts, so Holly convinced Artemis to wait for her, and when she emerged with her hair cropped to a fringe framing her face, he complimented her, "It suits you." She grinned, but the smile faltered momentarily as she realized he only meant it in the present. He still didn't remember her. Attempting to put it out of her mind, she pulled him towards the nearest attraction, which happened to be a dance floor. Neither of them was particularly skilled at dancing, but they were entertained for a while just figuring out the steps.

When they came home for dinner, Angeline managed to convince Butler to let them have the evening alone (no mean feat), so he dropped them off at a lake not too far away, where they rented a small rowboat just for the sake of it. From the shore a crab, a fish, and a seagull watched their progress.

"Move your feathers," N°1 whispered. "I can't see a thing!"

"Nothing is happening!" complained Mulch. "And if I have to watch them stare into each other's eyes for another hour, I will barf, or fall asleep, or both."

"Only one day left," N°1 worried.

"And that boy hasn't puckered up once," Foaly muttered.

"I believe," Mulch cut in, tired of waiting, "that this calls for a little _vocal romantic stimulation._" After flapping laboriously onto a branch a few feet away, he cleared his throat importantly. "Stand back!" And as the pair passed under him in their rowboat, he proceeded to make the most awful attempt at singing any of them had ever heard.

"Wow," Artemis commented after a minute of torture. "Someone really should find that poor animal and put it out of its misery." When Holly looked up to see Mulch winking at her and flashing a conspiratorial thumbs-up, she dropped her head into one of her hands – universal body language for _what is that moron thinking?_

Foaly groaned. "I'm surrounded by idiots. If I want something done right, I guess I have to do it myself." Taking a moment to recruit the nearby wildlife to his cause, he began to direct them. "First, we have to create the mood." Pointing to groups to cue them, he called, "Percussion . . . strings . . . winds . . . words." Climbing onto a large plant near them, he leaned in and began, not noticing the subtle sparks of magic N°1 sent his way.

_There you see her  
Sitting there across the way  
She doesn't have a lot to say__  
But there's something about her_

Artemis barely reacted to the new background music, but Holly's eyes widened when she noticed Foaly out on a cattail right near his ear. She was surprised to hear something not, well, totally tuneless coming from his mouth, but N°1 gave a fishy grin and waved with one fin.

_And you don't know why__  
But you're dying to try  
You wanna kiss the girl_

Artemis turned, but Foaly had jumped back onto the ground. "Did you hear something?" Holly shrugged and gave him her best innocent, what-are-you-talking-about look.

_Yes, you want her  
Look at her, you know you do  
Possible she wants you too__  
There is one way to ask her  
__It won't take a word__  
Not a single word  
Go one and kiss the girl_

Artemis's eyes were now on Holly, who was staring into the distance with some sadness. Foaly encouraged the rest of the animals, "Sing with me now."

_Sha la la la la la, my oh my  
Looks like the boy's too shy__  
He just won't kiss the girl_

_Sha la la la la la, that's so sad_  
_It's such a shame, too bad_  
_He's gonna miss the girl_

"I feel bad not recognizing you," Artemis told Holly honestly. "Did we meet at a science convention?" She made a face; he chuckled. "All right, no. Was it business?" She frowned and shook her head. He was quiet for a moment before he asked, "Were we friends? When I was younger?" Holly nodded, excited. His headache expression appeared again. "It's so odd," he confessed. "It's like you're there, but it's a blur." He smiled slightly at her. "It'll come. I've nearly got it already." He had stopped rowing, but the boat floated into a more secluded area, courtesy of Foaly's wildlife band.

_Now's your moment (ya ya ya ya)_  
_Floating in a blue lagoon (ya ya ya ya)_  
_Boy, you'd better do it soon_  
_No time will be better (ya ya ya ya)_  
_She can't say a word, and she won't say a word until you_  
_Kiss the girl_

Foaly had managed to recruit all kinds of animals to give the little area the perfect atmosphere. Fish (including N°1) burbled water to imitate fountains; birds serenaded them; even lightning bugs glowed in the twilight like tiny lamps. The scene was, in a word, magical, and the two humans were obviously falling under its influence.

_Sha la la la la la, don't be scared_  
_You've got the mood prepared_  
_Go on and kiss the girl (whoa whoa)_

Artemis could feel a mental tugging towards this girl. _Just like in the gorilla cage, _his mind said, but when he tried to grab onto the thought it disappeared.

_Sha la la la la la, don't stop now_  
_Don't try to hide it how_  
_You wanna kiss the girl (whoa whoa)_

_Sha la la la la la, float along_  
_And listen to the song_  
_The song says, kiss the girl (whoa whoa)_

_Sha la la la, hear the music play_  
_Do what the music say_  
_You've gotta kiss the girl_

Boy and girl had begun to lean in, ever so slightly.

_(You've got to) Kiss the girl_

Inch by inch, as the music quieted.

_(Why don't you) Kiss the girl_

Holly's eyes fluttered closed first, and Artemis's closed a moment afterwards.

_(Go on and) Kiss the girl_

Foaly clicked his pincers eagerly as he watched them near each other. "Go on and –!"

_Kiss the girl . . ._

They were a hair's breadth apart when suddenly the rowboat capsized, dumping its occupants into the warm lagoon water. Holly and Artemis sputtered as they tried to regain their bearings. The wildlife left in a hurry, and Foaly groaned in defeat. On the other side of the boat, Mervall and Descant Brill high-fived triumphantly.

**Opal's Lair**

Opal was watching the whole scene from her room, and she was furious. "That was close," she spat, "too close! The little _tramp!_ Ugh, she's better than I thought . . . at this rate, he'll be kissing her by sunset for sure!" She stormed over to her cabinets and began pulling out various chemicals. "Well, it's time I took matters into my own gorgeous hands!" She threw together a potion in a frenzy.

"Root's favorite officer will be mine," she hissed, catlike, "and then I'll make him writhe. I'll see them both wriggle like worms on a hook!" As she laughed, her appearance began to change – into that of a human. A beautiful young woman, with long chestnut hair and fair skin. Opal smiled widely.

**Fowl Manor, Later That Night**

As promised, Artemis finished reading the Story of Prince Ahmed and "Perie" to his brothers before they went to bed; Holly stayed again to listen. The twins were, of course, thrilled to have reached the action in the story. Their brother read about the revealing of Ahmed's fairy wife and the materialistic demands of the Sultan upon her, from the water of the fountain of lions to the magical pavilion, until her brother Schaiban killed him and all his evil advisors.

On their way out, Artemis stopped to talk to Holly. "Listen, Holly, I – has your left eye always been blue?" She instinctively reached up to touch it before shrugging innocently. "That's odd; I could have sworn both your eyes were hazel. And actually, the left one is exactly the color of _my_ eyes."

The young man's confusion was interrupted by the arrival of Butler. "You have a visitor. It's a young lady. Vanessa. She's at the door." Artemis headed to meet this girl, but not before Holly noticed the headache look, stronger than before. She left for bed in a very good mood.

Artemis neared the door, preparing to disappoint another marketer from the village nearby. However, as he entered hearing range, he could hear a pleasant, familiar voice speaking from the door. Musical tones. That voice was beautiful, and it was addressing him.

"_Hello, Fowl._" The brunette before him smiled, and it seemed the opal jewelry around her neck was glowing. Artemis's eyes glazed over; his last sentient thought was, _This can't be good._


	6. Chapter 5: Stall That Wedding!

**I am SO SORRY! I thought I had this chapter up. Sorry, sorry, sorry.**

**A/N: **It's almost over! It took me a year to type the first chapter, and a fortnight later we're throwing a graduation party (figuratively). Aww. *sniffle* Well, I know you're sad, but there will be an epilogue. I'm dragging it out for you. Just because I'm a sadist. HA HA HA HA.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Artemis Fowl and I don't own the Little Mermaid. But the latter is okay because I've watched it innumerable times in the last two weeks and I'm noticing a lot of weird things. Like, Eric is in his wedding outfit and then when he goes out to save Ariel/the world from Ursula, he's back in his normal outfit. What, did he just decide,_ Hey, my outfit really isn't good for this scene, I think I'll change before I go saving people_? *snorts* Yeah, I've put way too much thought into this movie.

AFHSAFHSAFHSAFHS

The next morning, Mulch flew into Holly's bedroom, actually squawking in excitement. He flapped onto her pillow, jumping around to wake up her and the crab beside her. "Congratulations!" he cried. "I just heard the news! You get to be a weirdo, and Opal won't own your soul!"

Foaly groaned, barely awake. "What is the idiot babbling about now?" Holly looked up blearily and shrugged.

"Oh, like you two didn't know," Mulch said, whacking the crab with a wing. "The whole town is buzzing about Arty getting himself hitched this afternoon!" Then, after a moment: "Ugh, I feel sick for actually being excited about this. What is wrong with me?"

The sarcasm was ignored as his words made their way into Holly's mind. She jumped out of bed and raced down the hallway to find the young man in question. Hearing voices in the main hall, she headed there, but she slipped to a stunned stop when she noticed Butler and Artemis there – and a pretty, young woman at Artemis's side. She ducked to hide behind the balcony, but she could still hear them.

"Well, Artemis, it appears I was mistaken," Butler was saying. "It would seem your dream girl does in fact exist. And she is quite lovely." To the woman he said, "Congratulations, my dear."

"We wish to be married as soon as possible," Artemis told Butler. His tone was even less emotional than usual, but Holly's brow creased in hurt at his words.

"Well, of course, Artemis, but these things do take time – "

"This afternoon, Butler," the younger man interrupted. "The wedding ship departs at sunset."

Butler was quiet for a moment; Holly risked peeking round the corner, but she couldn't see the torn expression on the Eurasian man's face. All she heard was the final "Whatever you wish." Feeling as though she had just been kicked in the stomach by a troll, Holly retreated to her room, followed quickly by Foaly. Below, Artemis's fiancée watched this with a smug smile and fingered her opal necklace.

**Harbor, Sunset**

The wedding ship left the harbor, just as planned. At the dock, Holly slid to the ground with her back to a wooden pole, trying to swallow the large lump in her throat. Foaly and N°1 kept her quiet company, their forlorn expressions the only way they knew to sympathize.

Over the water, Mulch flew towards the ship, intending on seeing his elfin friend again before the ceremony. He wasn't prepared to hear that friend's voice coming from a porthole. He came near to see the source.

_What a lovely little bride I'll make_  
_My dear, I'll look divine_

Mulch didn't know who this brunette was, but she definitely wasn't Holly.

_Things are working out according_  
_To my ultimate design_

The seagull swallowed nervously as the pretty woman drew out a hairpin and sent it flying into the forehead of the wooden cherub on her mirror. Holly's voice was changing into that of someone else, a malicious someone else he _did_ know.

_Soon I'll have that little LEPrecon_  
_And the world will be mine_

The smug laughter and megalomaniacal words that accompanied the girl's preening were without a doubt familiar. Opal. Mulch backpedaled and went flying towards the dock, squawking as he landed gracelessly at the feet of the odd group. "Holly! I was flying, and I saw the pixie was watching the mirror, and she was singing with a stolen set of pipes!" Holly gave him an are-you-stupid look. He began to whack Foaly on the ground. "Do you – hear what I'm – telling you? Artemis – is marrying – Opal – in disguise!"

Foaly wriggled a safe distance away and demanded, "Are you sure about this?"

"Have I ever been wrong?" Mulch countered.

"Well –"

"I mean, when it's important!" the seagull quickly continued.

Again Foaly prepared to dispute this, but he was cut off. "What can we do?" N°1 asked from the water. Holly stared out at the sinking sun, then jumped into the ocean. He raced to her side as she began a fierce swim towards the ship.

"I've got to get to the commander," Foaly muttered. "He has to know about this!"

"What about me?" Mulch asked, getting into it.

"You. Find a way to _stall that wedding_!" Foaly jumped into the shoreline shot, and Mulch flew off to gather all the animals he could find.

**On the Wedding Ship**

At that moment, Opal/Vanessa was walking down the aisle. Wedding march music played, and she smugly accepted the adoration of the people she passed. Until she passed Beckett, who was blowing raspberries and making faces at her, but she stomped on his foot with one of her heels and that took care of the problem.

"Dearly beloved," began the bumbling priest performing the ceremony. Opal tuned him out, choosing instead to smirk at the quickly setting sun. She returned her attention to the filthy Mud Men just in time to hear Artemis say emotionlessly, "I do." Lovely work, the _mesmerizing_ opal necklace. The priest continued with the vows, but only the screeching of animals nearby the boat interrupted Opal's self-congratulation. Indeed, she looked over, and a large group of seabirds was zooming towards them, led by a particularly ugly seagull.

" . . . And do you, Vanessa . . ." The priest was oblivious as the seagull drove his companions straight at Opal's head. She screamed shrilly, and they just came right back at her. The guests couldn't help but notice as various sea animals found their way, loudly, onto the deck. Some seals (where did they come from?) bounced her like a ball until she landed right on her wedding cake, and then three dolphins jumped up from the sea and squirted water in her face. Random crustaceans crawled all over her, sending her into hysterics about her perfect skin being ruined.

The animals generally wrecked havoc all over the ship, but the final straw was when that ugly seagull flew up and squawked in her face. She grabbed him around the neck and vigorously began to throttle him. Holly was climbing on board but couldn't do anything to help. From across the deck, as Mulch was pulling fiercely on Opal's necklace, Beckett broke away from his parents just in time to run up and kick Opal in the rear. She screeched indignantly; the necklace broke off her neck and went flying through the air – to crash at Holly's feet. The effects of the _mesmer_ disappeared as her C scale filled the air. Artemis held his head as Holly's voice found its way back into her body, the last notes of the scale coming out of her own mouth. Memories flashed into place in his mind as he heard her voice sans _mesmer_. He stared across the deck at the redhead as though she was a new person.

"Holly?"

Holly grinned at him. "Hey, Arty." Beckett ran over to her, talking hyperactively in his excitement.

Artemis stepped quickly away from the priest, heading straight for his friend. "It – I remember now. Again." The moment he neared, Holly hugged him.

"I . . . wanted to tell you . . ." Her face inched towards his.

"No!" Opal screeched, now in her own voice.

Just before their lips touched, the sun behind them dipped below the horizon. Holly grimaced and with a painful spasm began to shrink, finding herself coming to a stop at three feet tall. Mulch dropped from the air and landed with a grunt on the deck, a dwarf once more. A high-pitched squeal from the water indicated N°1 had found himself normal again as well.

Opal was wasting no time in welcome-backs, though. With surprising strength she grabbed Holly by the arm and pulled her into a lifeboat. "So long, Lover-Boy," she cooed patronizingly to Artemis before cutting them loose from the ship.

When they made it to shore, Opal dragged Holly into the shot. It shot downwards, and as they got out in Haven, they heard the voice of Holly's favorite commander.

"Opal, stop where you are!" Root blocked their path, his tri-barreled blaster pointed directly at the pixie. Foaly, a centaur again, stood firmly behind the commander.

Opal smiled, the warmth therein entirely artificial. "Hello, Julius. So good to see you."

Root wasn't one for false small talk. "Let her go."

"Not a chance, Root, she's mine now," the pixie spat. She unfurled a contract. "We had a deal." Root laced his blaster with magic and sent a high-level stream at the paper, but it merely bounced off. Opal grinned again, the smile real and very smug this time. "You may notice it is entirely unbreakable. I think she'll make a lovely pair of stilettos." She sent her own magic spiraling towards Holly, who began to shrink even more. ". . . Of course, I always did have an eye for a bargain," Opal said innocently; "I might be willing to trade her for someone even better."

**Aboveground, Ireland**

Artemis had cut loose another lifeboat and was rowing as quickly as he could to shore. "Artemis, what are you doing?" Butler called out.

"I lost Holly before," the black-haired young man called back, an unusual fierceness in his tone. "I'm not going to lose her again."

**Haven**

"So," Opal asked the commander, "do we have a deal?" Root cast a glance at Holly, who was beginning to resemble footwear. He furrowed his brow and leaned forward to sign his name over hers. Instantly she grew back to her normal size, and he shrank into a pair of combat boots, his blaster and his ID falling to the ground beside him. Foaly and Holly were soon at his side.

" . . . Julius?" Holly said in little more than a whisper.

Foaly was, for once, respectful. "Commander."

Opal gave the boots a not-so-gentle kick. "I'll never wear those," she said to herself. "They're much too ugly. Oh, well." She stooped to pick up the tri-barreled blaster, which she pointed straight at Holly's chest. "And with the stupid commander out of the way, next in my order of business is you, you little – ACK!" She clamped a hand to her arm, which was bleeding. Both of them turned to see Artemis standing a few feet away, holding a fairy gun. Probably the first thing he could get his hands on, it didn't do much damage, but it did get Opal angry. "Go get the stupid Mud Boy!" she ordered Mervall and Descant, who obediently raced after him. He made it to the shot, but they pulled him back out.

"Come on!" Foaly called to N°1, who had just come out of the shot. They hit the Brill brothers until they released Artemis.

Opal fired up the blaster. "Say good-bye to your sweetheart," she said with mock sympathy to Holly, pointing the gun at the teenager. As her finger moved to the trigger, Holly reached out for the pixie's treasured hair and yanked hard. It had the intended effect: Opal's aim was off. As it was, she accidentally vaporized her hench-twins. She hardly noticed that, but she _did_ notice two of her worst enemies running for the shot. She downed another potion and with a cough followed them aboveground.

**On Shore in Ireland**

Holly and Artemis stumbled out of the shot, followed closely by an upset and groaning Opal. "You have to go," she ordered him. "Let the LEP take care of this."

"I could if you weren't holding onto my shirt like it was life itself," Artemis pointed out. She frowned up at him and opened her mouth to argue, but their attention was stolen by Opal, who seemed to be growing. Massively. The pixie stepped into the water, now twenty feet tall and showing no signs of slowing. The two of them could only stare and pray that the colossal tri-barreled blaster in her hands would break.

Finally Opal stopped growing.

Finally Opal's extreme growth spurt ended; not that it was much of a relief, because the pixie now towered over them with a maliciously gleeful expression. "You are both pitiful, insignificant fools!" she shouted down at them. She aimed the blaster at the two of them.

"Look out!" Artemis and Holly scrambled for cover just as Opal blasted the patch of sand they had just occupied.

"Now I will rule the entire world!" she declared as she began to fire into the ocean, stirring up chaos in the ocean. A particularly strong wave crashed into the beach and hauled both human and elf out to sea. Opal stuck the end of the giant blaster into the water and began pulling it in fierce circles, creating a confined whirlpool.

The motion of the water there brought up an old sunken ship, which nearly crashed into Artemis. As it was, he used one of the ropes dangling off the side to laboriously climb up onto its deck. Holly was still in the ocean, but she had found a boulder to anchor herself to. However, Opal certainly wouldn't have that; she blasted towards her, vaporizing the rock and sending Holly spinning into the whirlpool. The elf blacked out for a few moments, but she quickly recovered her bearings as Opal sent high-level blasts at her. She dodged the first few, but she was tired; she couldn't last much longer.

Opal aimed the blaster for the last time. "So much," she spat, "for true love!" Then Artemis sent the ship's mast straight into Opal's stomach. A very ugly screech left her mouth, and then she sank lifelessly beneath the waves, taking the ship with her. Artemis, who somehow had managed to jump off the ship to (relative) safety, arduously crawled onto the shore, where he collapsed in exhaustion.

Belowground, piles of shoes were turning back into their original forms – fairies. Overjoyed, they clambered out of Opal's lair by the dozens. N°1 delivered a certain tri-barreled blaster, fairy-size once more, to a pair of combat boots, which quickly transformed into Commander Julius Root.

A short while later, Root and Foaly took the shot up to the Irish shore, where they saw Holly sitting behind the mound of earth, watching for Artemis's recovery a few yards away.

Root sighed. "She really does love him, doesn't she, Foaly?"

"Well, it's like I always say," the centaur replied; "fairies should be free to live their own lives."

"You always say that?" questioned Root pointedly. Foaly gave a guilt shrug. "Well," said the commander, "I guess there's just one problem left."

"What's that, Julius?" asked the technician, and for once Root didn't correct his first-name basis.

"How much I'm going to miss her." He beckoned to another figure in the shot. N°1 scampered out and headed straight for Holly. He put both gray hands on her arm, and sparks began to fly around her. Turning, she smiled widely in thanks at her commander, knowing full well who had authorized what was about to happen.

Further away on the beach, Artemis was slowly making his way to a sitting position. He frowned at the messiness of his appearance. "My suit is ruined," he said aloud to no one in particular.

"That _would_ be your response to saving the world again," came a response he hadn't expected. He turned quickly. A familiar young woman with short auburn hair stood nearby, a grin in place. Artemis practically jumped to his feet. "Holly!"

"Arty!" she laughed. "Again with the cheesy name-calling. Have you been watching soap operas?" Rather than dispute his cheesiness, he chose to step forward and kiss her soundly on the lips.

**Outside Fowl Manor, less than a month later**

"You may now kiss the bride." Some of the rowdier guests (namely, Mulch and Foaly) whooped as Artemis and Holly shared their first kiss as a married couple. Beckett, who with his twin had been a ringbearer, reached out to his new sister-in-law for a kiss as well. From the first row, Angeline held onto her husband with one hand and mopped her tears with the other.

Eventually the time came to bid the guests good-bye. This had been a small wedding; the immediate Fowl relatives were there, of course, as well as a number of fairies, this being the reason for the small size. N°1 and Mulch both received hugs from Holly, even though Mulch stank (as usual).

Foaly was next in line. "Stay in touch," he sniffled.

"Are you crying?" she asked him.

"No," he lied badly.

"I'll miss you, you sap," she teased as she hugged him too. A few more fairies came to say good-bye, and then Commander Root stepped up. Holly hugged him fiercely. Now she was the one tearing up. "Thank you, Julius," she whispered. "For everything." Beside her, Artemis bowed slightly to the commander; he returned the gesture. Root went back to the group of tittering fairies, and the new Mr. and Mrs. Fowl waved to them as they left to return to Haven.

_Now we can walk_  
_Now we can run_  
_Now we can stay all day in the sun_  
_Just you and me_  
_And I can be_  
_Part of your world_


	7. Epilogue

**A/N: **Whoops! Hehe. Almost didn't make my own deadline. In my own defense, this epilogue gave me more trouble than I'd expected. I went through maybe three different versions before combining them into this. Also, I've been busy, and honestly I've lost some interest in romance, at least temporarily. Although I did manage to fangirl properly over Doppler and Amelia when I watched Treasure Planet today. Tee hee. :) Oh, for anyone who cares, I recommend the book _Capt. Hook_. I'm reading it right now; it's quite good.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anyfing, which is probably for the best. Fanfiction is funner (yes, "funner"), and I don't have to hide from rabid readers. Yay for Mr. Colfer (and Walt Disney)!

AFHSAFHSAFHS

**Five Years Later**

"Hey, we're home," Holly called from the door, shaking rain off her boots. Beside her, Artemis set out the umbrella to dry. "How's it going?"

Myles and Beckett poked their heads out from the next room. "Good," they called. "We're studying."

"Where's Percy?" asked the auburn-haired woman.

"He's in here with us," Beckett answered, waving a hand in the general direction of the room.

"You two are both simpletons," Myles accused for the millionth time. "Who names their son Perseus?"

"Who names their son Artemis?" countered Artemis as he stepped forward to reclaim his son from the ten-year-old twins. The three-year-old was playing happily on the floor, apparently not bothered at all by the textbooks around him.

"Arty! Holly!" Angeline descended the stairs joyfully, followed by her husband. "How did it go in Haven?"

Holly shrugged, grinning. "No attempts to take over the world, at least. We were just there to catch up. Foaly was eager to show off his new Neutrinos." She turned to Artemis junior, who had emerged carrying their son. "Percy!" The black-haired toddler immediately reached out for her; she held him on her hip. "How were things here?"

"Quiet," Angeline said smilingly, "although Percy found a particular pleasure in making tall buildings and then knocking them down." Holly and Artemis glanced at their son, who looked back up at them with innocent hazel eyes. "Do you two want anything to eat? We've already had lunch."

"So have we," Artemis replied. "Thank you, though."

"Actually," Holly put in guiltily, "a sandwich would be great." She handed Percy back to her husband, and Angeline waved for her to follow her to the kitchen. Of course she already knew where it was; she had lived there for five years. It was _girl talk time_.

Percy tugged at his father's shirt. "Help me with my blocks, pleeease," he requested, putting his best cute grin. Artemis agreeably followed him into the room he'd been in before and knelt down to hear his son point out every detail of the castle made of building blocks. ". . . And this is the gate, and this is where Butler stays . . ."

"Where is Butler?" Artemis asked suddenly.

Mr. Fowl answered from the doorway. "He's in America, actually, visiting Juliet. You remember she bought an apartment in Chicago? I let him know you and Holly got back safely, but you'll want to call him later." Artemis junior nodded.

"Arty, Foaly's on the phone. You want to talk?" Holly poked her head around the corner, looking for her husband and his charge. She found them on the floor with building blocks.

"Sure, although I'm not sure how much we could have to discuss already." Artemis stood to accept the "phone" – more accurately, the fairy communicator – and Holly took his place by their son. The black-haired man stepped into the next room out of courtesy. "Hello, Foaly. How are things in Haven since we left? Any more nanowafer glitches I can help with?"

Holly inspected the building-block structure, then turned to its creator. "What are you building, Percy?"

The boy was deeply concentrated on his project, but his mother's question attracted his attention. "A castle, like Fowl Manor," Percy said decisively as he placed a few more blocks along the edge. "Daddy's helping me."

"Is he?" Holly smiled. "He told me he was going to read to you today. Did he say anything about that?"

"Yes," complained the boy. "Something silly. The story of Prince Ahmed and – ?"

" – and Periebanou," finished the auburn-haired woman. The boy nodded. "I know that one."

"Holly, I'm putting the phone on the counter," called Artemis from the kitchen. "While I'm here, do you want something to eat?"

Holly laughed aloud. "Did you learn to cook in the last twenty-four hours and not tell me?" she teased.

Now it was Artemis who poked his head out. "I'm going to ignore that. Do you want anything?" She shook her head, and he came to sit beside her.

"Daddy, my wall keeps falling down," Percy said, turning sad hazel eyes toward his father, who leaned forward to give construction advice.

Holly simply looked on with amusement. "He is just like you."

Artemis glanced at her. "I _am_ the source of half his genes."

"Shut up, Arty." When Percy quickly looked up in shock, she hastily amended herself, "Sorry, we don't say 'shut up.' _Be quiet_, Arty." Her mismatched eyes shone with suppressed laughter, though.

Artemis turned his gaze back to their son. "You're right; he is like me. I think he could use a sister to balance him out. We could name her Diana, or Coral, after your mother. What do you think?"

Holly grinned suddenly. "Hey, Arty," she said. "Guess what?"

**~Fin~**


End file.
